The “I don’t need love” Type

singlemingle

Hey! The other day I saw this quote on tumblr and I wanted to share it because everyday since I saw it I kept thinking about it

“Can I tell you a secret? You don’t have to be in a relationship. 
 
I mean it. I know they force it down your throat until you choke on it. Girls aren’t pretty unless they’re wanted. Boys aren’t men unless they’re having sex with someone. People aren’t lovable until they’re dating someone. 
 
But a relationship won’t always make you happy, and as wonderful as romance is, it isn’t the only love that exists. I have seen friendships that are deeper and more pure than couples who swear it’s forever – and yet the friendship is the one people ignore. 
 
I have heard so often “nobody loves me” out of the mouths of people who are single. And it kills me because if you ask them: where are your parents, your teachers, your classmates, your pets – they say, yes, okay, but it doesn’t count. Of course it counts, love doesn’t diminish just because someone doesn’t want to have sex with you. In fact, doesn’t it sort of make that love more real that they want nothing – not even a date – out of you?
 
It is pretty to be in love. It’s magical, I’m sure. But it’s also wonderful to stop for ice cream in your prom dress with six other girls. It’s also wonderful to go visit the world with nothing but a bunch of buddies who are really excited about learning. 
 
The problem is: we’ve made everything about “the one”. But maybe “the one” is just you, loving yourself, having fun, and being happy. Maybe instead of looking for our other halves, we should be piecing ourselves together.
 
Maybe I wasn’t born unfinished. Maybe I am the one who makes myself better.”

from here

Here’s when I start 2 word pages of rambling

It got me thinking so much that I started thinking how those around me saw and felt about love. So while taking her to school I asked my little sister (14) what was the first thing that came into her mind when I mention the word love and she looked at me weird because it was 7am and I was asking this type of questions, I know, sometimes I annoy myself too. She told me two people came to her mind so I ask her if it was in a romantic way or maybe just friendly and she answered the first one and I thought it was kind of sad because romantic love isn’t even the first love affection you receive in your life. And she’s only 14 and I know that when you’re around her age there’s a lot of pressure in being with boys because your friends are doing it (and by doing it I mean being with boys and by that I mean making out, she’s still a baby!)

Also notice how it’s only boys. From what she tells me about her classmates I get the feeling that if a girl in my sister’s class, or even my sister happened to like girls I’m afraid to think what they would think of her. I know my little sis wouldn’t be the problem because I taught her well (proud big sister here) but her friends, ugh, those girls are really judgmental.

I also thought about the way my mom sees love. I hate her view of it. I know she’s not perfect and I don’t want to get deep here, we had had a lot of issues. But somehow my mom believes that the only way of being happy is if she has a man by her side, a romantic love. This kind of hurts because when she’s single she’s sad and feels unloved and meaningless. It hurts because my sister and I get 0 acknowledgments. Our love doesn’t really matter if she doesn’t have a perfect family and her view of a perfect family is a man to sit down all nights and have dinner with us three. I think my mom should watch Lilo and Stitch.

Then there’s me, I tend to be a hypocrite. I’m the type of person who believes you don’t need romantic love to be happy. You don’t need a relationship to be cool. I believe myself to be like the person who wrote that and part of it it’s true but I also love watching romantic movies and watching TV shows and reading books because of the romance in it, having millions of ships and otp’s…

See when you are 20 and have never been in a relationship you tend to make everybody believe you don’t really need one and that you’re kind of cynical and that love is for fouls, blah, blah. It’s easier than to admit to your friends that you’re scared or you have 0 social skills with romantic interests. There’s also the fact that you had 7 complete years for your mind to travel into imagination land and create and fantasize (even if I won’t admit it) your ideal relationship so when you go out to the real world you’re like “No, this person could never be in the unique, authentic and crazy relationship I expect” or “No, this person would never understand me, or be like me.”.

But, unlike my mother, for example, I do believe that you don’t need someone to complete you or make you a better person. That’s probably the most important. That you don’t wait for someone to come and make you better, make you happy or have adventures with. These are all things that you can do by yourself. You complete you.

 

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8 thoughts on “The “I don’t need love” Type”

  1. Love this so much! I’m 21 and haven’t had a real relationship yet, but I’m okay with that, because so far I haven’t met anyone that I want to actually spend my life with. This is an amazing post, thanks for sharing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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