Lazy or Unmotivated?

Processed with VSCO with a1 preset

I’m having a bit of a, I don’t know how to call it… Blogger’s block I guess?

Lately I feel like I’m having all sorts of blocks. Viewer’s block, reader’s block, study block? I don’t know, some people call it just being lazy and I feel so horrible because I do feel like I’m being lazy but I also can’t seem to get myself to do anything, not even the things I like. And that’s the thing! I love reading, I love watching TV shows, I love writing here but I just can’t sit down and do it. You shouldn’t feel obligated to do the things you like to do and yet somehow I feel like I have to force myself to do them.

I know I should talk more to my friends and still I don’t do it. I also should be looking for a job but it’s not happening. I know I should study and yet I don’t do it. I know studying can be hard but sometimes I see the appeal in it. Writing notes and learning, I kind of like it… which is crazy coming from me. I know this is something a lot of people feel. Wanting to do so much and yet not having the mental strength to do them. Maybe I should watch Nike’s publicity to feel a little more inspired and “Just Do It”… bad joke I know.

The thing is people do not always understand that you just feel unmotivated or sad, or confused and maybe depressed and assume you’re just being lazy and neglectful with things. The more people tell me to get up and stop being like this the more I fall into it.

Anyway I just wanted to let you know a little bit of what was going on. As I’m writing I’m also coming up with some ideas for some posts so I think that’s good news. Also I wanted to thank you guys for following me! You don’t know how much it means! I promise I’ll try to be more active.

See ya!

 

 

Top 10 Instrumental Movie Scores

I don’t know if somebody else does this (probably yes) but I usually have a lot of instrumental music in my phone. I have classic and scores from movies. They’re great when you’re walking the dog, a simple task transforms itself into defeating pirates, aliens or men itself. While you sweep the floor one instrumental song of two minutes can make you shed tears.

I love movie scores, they have so much power in motion pictures. I always imagine how movies would work without it, I probably wouldn’t cry so much while watching them for sure. I thought I could do a list of my favorite movie scores (up to now.) If you know them tell me what you think or if you have another one let me know.

  • Peter Pan (2003) by James Newton Howard

peter pan ost

Probably the first soundtrack I ever downloaded. This movie had such an effect on me. Everything about it is beautiful. “Fairy Dance” was always my favorite soundtrack, sadly spotify didn’t let me hear it and when I bought an iPhone it was the same with Apple Music so I ended up buying the song on iTunes (something I never do ha)  and even today I have “Fairy Dance” in my music.

  • Amélie (2001) by Yann Tiersen

Amelie ost

It took me two times of watching this movie to love it but only one to love the soundtrack. I also have some of the songs in my music repertoire.

  • Pirates of the Caribbean by Hans Zimmer

pirates of the caribbean ost.JPG

I’m putting the World’s End CD cover but every movie soundtrack from this franchise is gold. Hans Zimmer is so talented. I have “One Day” from the third movie saved. The fourth movie has some really badass soundtrack too, “Mermaids” is so good!

  • Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (2001) by John Williams

harry potter I ost

Umm… I cry every time I hear a song that comes from this album so I don’t have any songs in my phone cause I’m sure I would cry while walking the dog and while going to classes. Actually if the movie had no sound I would still cry because everything about the first movies of Harry Potter makes me cry.

Hearing this soundtrack feels like being introduced into the Wizarding world for the first time all over again. Everything is magical and you can really connect with Harry’s feelings, so naive and curious above all this world the movie is introducing you and him.

(Don’t even get me started with Hedwig’s theme)

  • Finding Neverland (2004) by Jan A. P. Kaczmarek

Finding_Neverland_(soundtrack)

This movie is so lovely! The soundtrack sounds so sweet and innocent, playful at times and heartbroken at others. I think I have three songs from it saved in my phone.

  • Man of Steel (2013) by Hans Zimmer

man of steel ost

When people recommended me this movie I was like “Nah… I’m not into Superman at all” Well I saw the movie last week and I was so wrong (AGAIN) Man of Steel is such a good action movie, it makes me look at Zack Snyder (director)  and the DCCU (DC cinematic universe) with whole new eyes. I mean, technically “Batman v Superman” did but Man of Steel strengthens my thoughts about it.

The soundtrack was obviously perfect and possibly one of my favorite superhero movie ones. Damn Hans… back at it again with the good score.

  • Romeo and Juliet (2013) by Abel Korzeniowski

romeo and juliet ost

I think the reason I watched the movie was because of the score. I found it in some 8tracks playlist and saved it in my music and a little later decided I should probably watch the movie. The movie is okay, the soundtrack is great.

  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens by John Williams

tfa ost

I could also mention the other movies but this was the first Star Wars movie I watched on the big screen and the soundtrack stuck with me all december 2015. Well… maybe it was because I saw it like four times in theaters but whatever.

It brings me so much nostalgia hearing this score as if I was alive in the 70’s hearing for the first time about Luke Skywalker and the force.

Simply perfect.

  • Cinderella (2015) by Patrick Doyle

cinderella ost

Cinderella had a big message in the movie, “Have courage and be kind” I think every time I hear the songs of this album this message rumbles inside me. You can hear instrumental songs and not imagine the movie like “Romeo and Juliet” I mentioned before but with Cinderella’s score every time you hear a song is like you hear the movie’s story all over again and is so sweet.

  • Batman v Superman by Hans Zimmer

bvs ost.jpg

I just can’t get enough of Zimmer. Like I said in (Sort of) REVIEW: Batman v Superman The most fantastic thing about this film (besides Wonder Woman) is the soundtrack. With Hans Zimmer’s score this movie was a work of art and it also enters in my favorite superhero movie scores.

Some honorable mentions: The Phantom of the Opera, Thor: The Dark World, Batman Begins (yep, Zimmer again) Pride and Prejudice, Stardust. Also Doctor Who has some awesome scores I have all the companions theme songs saved. (and Doomsday for when I want to cry really, really hard. Murray Gold is talented as hell)

 

 

 

Shakespeare recommendations (you probably already know)

It is estimated that today 400 years before, Shakespeare died. He is one of my favorite playwriter and poets so I decided why not do a list of Shakespeare based things I watched and recommend? Now if you’re into that kind of thing you’ll probably know everything I’m going to mention in this post, maybe you can comment, if you saw, what you thought about it.

  • Much Ado About Nothing (1993)

much ado about nothing.jpg

Like I said in “5 Movie Locations I Want To Go” Much Ado About Nothing is my favorite Shakespeare play so this movie has a place in my heart and in my opinion was wonderful. It’s directed by Kenneth Branagh who also plays Benedick and who at the moment was married to Emma Thompson (one of my favorite actresses.) This was a plus in the movie for me, their chemistry was great. I gotta say I like Kenneth, even though he cheated on Emma with Helena Bonham Carter (and cheating is something I don’t quite like)

Keanu Reeves is not, per say, my favorite actor and I read a lot of reviews criticizing Ken’s casting choice for this character but I quite like him in this movie as Don John… and yeah alright, he was actually hot here.

Also beware there’s going to be a lot of Much Ado in this post.

  • A Midsummer Night’s Dream (1999)

a midsummer night's dream

Can you believe I didn’t want to watch this movie because of Christian Bale? I don’t even know why because I generally like him. I mean I do think that he always looks like he’s up to no good but… I don’t know… sometimes I just don’t get myself. Well, I’m a big fan of fantasy and growing up I just loved fairies and magic forests and all that sort of things so it’s pretty obvious this was going to be another favorite.

I don’t know about the reviews of this movie because I watched it this year without much background information more than just having read the play but I personally loved it. Okay, it also may be because it was aesthetically nice to watch but Stanley Tucci as Puck? Love it! It also happens that Michelle Pfeiffer is one of my favorite actresses too so there’s that.

I also want to mention that while watching this movie I started re imagining the cast. I mean there’s nothing wrong with it in my opinion but if a new movie was to be made… well I would already have my dream cast for it. (I’ll show you later in another post)

  • Macbeth (2015)

macbeth

Macbeth was the only play by Shakespeare I didn’t read voluntarily, I would have eventually but not at 16 when my english teacher made us read it. However is another favorite.

First of all, MICHAEL FASSBENDER! I usually tend to love actors who play Marvel characters so I love Fassbender and I think he’s an amazing actor and I was so glad he got to portray Macbeth, I thought he was incredible. Secondly MARION COTILLARD! Another amazing, beautiful and talented actress who I admire a lot, she as lady Macbeth? Oh man, so good! Picture, costumes, cinematography and aesthetics play a huge part in this movie, they were beautiful. If the dialogue was a little clearer I would have absolutely love it. I think that’s the only critic for the movie. Aside from that, I recommend it.

  • Much Ado About Nothing (2012)

much ado about nothing 2012

I was sure I was not going to like this movie even thought it was directed by Joss Whedon… wait, no. That’s exactly why I thought I wouldn’t like it. But I also saw it because well I’m a Marvel and Disney fan and Whedon directed The Avengers and Age of Ultron and wrote (with others) Atlantis: The Lost Empire so I just thought, why not?

 It was pretty amazing and the actors are actually good and overall it’s a great movie. Not my favorite but because is Much Ado I’m adding it anyways. Also, I thought Amy Acker did a great job as Beatrice.

Plus black and white makes everything more artsy.

  • Romeo and Juliet (1968)

romeo and juliet.jpg

Well, duh…

This is probably the adaptation they show in all schools… at least in mine they did which was weird because we didn’t read Romeo and Juliet. However I enjoyed it though I have the feeling I wouldn’t have watched if it wasn’t for my english teacher. I watched it again when I was little more older because I felt I didn’t quite enjoy it the first time in school.

  • Nothing Much to Do (Web Series)

Photo Apr 23, 8 10 24 PM.jpg

Yeah I’m talking about this again. Those who didn’t read my “Literary Web Series (My Favorites)” post, this is my favorite web serie who happens to be inspired in Much Ado About Nothing.

Don’t get into this thinking it will be identical to Shakespeare because it’s a modern adaptation that places all the characters into high school, plus it’s a web serie not a movie. They do follow the plot though and in a very creative way using different YouTube channels. Plus, Jake and Harriet did a great job adapting Benedick and Beatrice to modern days. The other actors were great too.

  • Jules and Monty (Web Series)

jules-and-monty

I thought a lot about adding this to the list because I didn’t finish it. But why not, just so you know it exists plus I didn’t put it in my literal web series post so here it goes.

Probably making Romeo and Juliet about fraternities who are against each other is the most classic way to go if you think of modern era for this play. It wasn’t the best but it’s pretty cute and it discusses a very important issue I’m not going to mention in case you decide to watch it. I would finish it if I didn’t have so many tv shows and books to catch up with.

  • Romeo + Juliet (1996)

romeo + juliet.jpg

Don’t hate me but I loved this movie. I know a lot of Shakespeare lovers hated it but I have my reasons.

First, Leo DiCaprio is my favorite actor I never doubt a movie when he’s in it… I know I should, but I can’t, he’s good. Secondly Baz Luhrmann makes aesthetically beautiful movies and I’m all about aesthetics (you can probably notice that for the amount of times I said aesthetic in this post.) These are enough reasons for me to like Romeo + Juliet. I also thought the way DiCaprio and Danes delivered their lines was generally good. Romeo and Juliet might be one of my favorite plays not because of the story itself (I mean yes it’s like the example of love at first sight and inspired a lot of movies and books) but mostly because of the whole analysis someone can make out of it. I like listening to different opinions about the play.

  • This fantastic video of Tom Hiddleston reading Shakespeare

I’m going to leave you this amazing video. (Tom is perfect)

SEE YA!

 

Good Enough

Photo Apr 20, 7 49 29 PM.jpg
IG

Well I bet a lot of us feel familiar with those two words in the title. I wasn’t sure what to write about today so I decided to share my experience with “Not Enough”

If you have been reading my blog you’ll know I have a very bad experience with high school. Now in my second year of college my experience so far has been good and nothing like before but the thing is that those years kind of change me a lot in matters of education. School was always hard for me but in the one I was everything seemed to be extra complicated (private school.) And I just felt I wasn’t smart enough and those feelings still follow me.

I remember one of the last things I did for high school was this long essay (case study or extended essay I guess it’s called in English) on a subject I wanted (I could choose as long as professors approved). So I did Hippie culture, its impact in the present and it’s philosophy, something like that. For this essay I read a lot about beat writers, music of that time, movements, philosophy, etc.

While my philosophy teacher, who also happens to be one of the school directors, was correcting my essay she asked me why I had put “On the Road” by Jack Kerouac in the bibliography. I had the book (that I had bought the year before because I wanted to read it) but due to studying I couldn’t even started. I told her that my copy had an introduction where another writer talked about Kerouac’s era. She said that I should take it from the bibliography because I didn’t read it, which was true really, but then she added “Yeah, don’t put it in the bibliography because you’re suggesting that you read it and you didn’t, it’s very complex for someone like you

I was really hurt. She made me think that I was not bright enough to read the book. I left it in my shelf and never touched it again. It’s still there reminding me I’m not enough. It’s stupid I know, I shouldn’t let someone tell me I’m not smart enough for something but she was my teacher, she studied in Bath and was one of the school directors and I was failing everything and what she said made sense for me at that moment.

This feeling never abandons me since and it also has led me to question myself a lot. You know how everyone is good at something? I have a friend who is so talented with art (thought she doesn’t paint anymore) and another friend who is super good at roller skating so of course I started questioning myself, what was I good at?

When I ended high school I decided cinematography wasn’t for me because I felt I was not good enough for that career. I didn’t have what it takes to be a director. So I chose journalism because even if I was not talented enough to do movies at least I could talk about them. And every time someone wants to talk about something cultural even though I love when people talk about society issues, books, art, music, movies, history al culture I stay quite because I’m afraid of saying something stupid.

The moral of the story is to never underestimate someone’s intelligence. Some people easily believe what you tell them about themselves. High school grades don’t define you or tell you if you’re smart. I’m not the only case I know about people who sucked at high school and did good at college. And even if I didn’t mention it whenever a person is talking about something they like and feel passionate about it don’t shut them up or tell them it’s boring, let them express themselves because if you interrupt them or tell them it’s not interesting they will stop sharing these things with people because they fear that what they like won’t interest them.

See ya next post!

Elie Saab “A Princess’ Dream” 2015

Hey there!

Did I ever tell you I love fashion? Well kinda. I love the idea of expressing myself with my clothes. I love different styles and trends but if there’s something I can’t resist are gorgeous runaway dresses I’m never going to wear, those are my favorite.

I want to maintain myself a little bit open with what I upload here, you know, I upload “Everything I like, everything I don’t and everything I don’t know”… yup, I just quoted myself. Anyway, I saw this beautiful dresses from Elie Saab’s Autum/Winter runaway last year that I wanted to show you.

When I thought about adding a fashion category to my blog I wanted to be related to something like books or movies. Last and first post I made in that category had to do with “A Midsummer Night’s Dream.” I decided to share this because it reminded me so much of fantasy books.

If I was a fearless princess in a magic kingdom (dream much?) I would definitely wear this:

1

2

3

4

7

8

These are just some of the designs I like. I’m going to try to do more posts about fashion cause I really like it.

see ya!

 

REVIEW: The Jungle Book

the jungle book.jpg

Hey people! After last post I decided I wanted to go a little light and do a Review of The Jungle Book which I saw on Friday.

A little background information: This movie was directed by Jon Favreau which for me was a plus since I’m a marvel fan and he directed the first two Iron Man movies aside from appearing in them, he directed Elf and though I’m not a big fan of this movie I know it has quite good reviews. Zathura and Cowboys & Aliens are also in his repertoire of well-known movies.

The voice cast is also something: Bill Murray playing Baloo, Ben Kingsley playing Bagheera, Idris Elba (swoons) plays Shere Khan, Lupita Nyongo’o (she’s amazing) plays Rashka, Scarlett Johansson gives voice to Kaa (Scarlett is my babe, I love her a lot since she gives life to one of my favorite comic characters also is the first time Kaa is portrayed as a female and if you stay until the end of the movie you can hear her sing in the credits) Giancarlo Esposito plays Akela and King Louie is played by Christopher Walken. Last but not least Mowgli is played by the amazing young actor, Neel Sethi, who I hope gets enough recognition because I thought he was incredible.

Ok, like I told you posts before (or not) I’m a big Disney fan… like big, big. So of course it’s a must for me to go to see Disney movies to the cinema. However, The Jungle Book is not one of those Disney classics I would say I love so I wasn’t so convinced about going to see it to the cinema. Sure I was going to enjoy it because it was Disney but I didn’t know if I should spend money on it or just wait until it’s on internet (illegally, you know)

I’m glad I decided to pay and watch it because it’s the kind of movie you need to see on the big screen. All the locations we see in the movie are totally made up, meaning computer generated and people might think that this gives some sort of fake image yet it was beautiful. These places are inspired in real ones from India but it’s like they have a more fantasy/magic look, more “Disney like” and they still manage to look real, I couldn’t believe this was made in a studio and not in a real jungle.

Same system was used to create the animal, and there are a lot of them! One of the first thoughts that came to my mind when I saw this movie was being made was that when animals talk in movies it looks horrible and very artificial but this was not the case for The Jungle Book. Though animals were fake they looked pretty much real.

Another pro for this movie is that it doesn’t follow the exact same story that the animated one. The Jungle Book (1967) was inspired by the book of the same name by Rudyard Kipling and the movie follows more the story of this book rather than the story of the classic Disney movie which I think is great because you don’t go to watch it thinking you already know the plot and what’s going to happen.

Neel Sethi (12) who plays Mowgli is absolutely amazing, I always admire actors who can do a good job when everything around you is green and you have to imagine what surrounds you and who you are talking to. I read that Jim Henson Company life-sized puppets were used to act alongside Mowgli to help Neel and serve as eye-lines.

I suck at reviewing, usually I just tell you what I saw and like (or sometimes didn’t) trying not to spoil you anything. Anyway I totally recommend this movie, I cried, I laughed and I sang which for me it’s the definition of totally worth it.

See ya!

PS: I want Bagheera and Baloo as parents please.

 

 

Punch a Wall

Ok… I have been delaying this post for a long time because I have the feeling it will be very long and people won’t read it. And I wouldn’t mind that. After all I said on my first post that I wasn’t doing this to be read but for myself. I need this space. I go to therapy but I feel sometimes that’s not enough. The thing is when you start to notice people actually read these things you get a little bit selected with what you upload in hopes of keeping your followers interested. (I try to do that and fail lol, I only talk about my problems and my likes and hope people will relate or find it useful)

This post is about my issues at home and how I deal with them. It might be for people to relate or to get to know me a little bit better but it’s mainly for me, to take out everything I’m holding, even if I’m talking to my therapist about it I only see her one time every two-weeks and a lot of things have happened since.

Wednesday night started normal. There was no bottle of alcohol in the refrigerator which meant nothing bad was going to happen, I was not going to sleep feeling miserable or worried about what might be going on in the living room. But because this is the story of my life while I was sleeping my mom opened the door and turned on the lights to tell me she was going out… on a school night (for my sister)… at 4 am. I was so asleep that the only thing I could tell her was “aha.”

This is not the first time she does this. When I was in junior year (and sometimes in senior too) of high school she used to do it all the time. She would go to the apartment of this guy me and my sister used to hate because he was one of the reasons my sister’s dad and our mom got divorced. It was so dangerous, she would go drunk and I would have to take my sister to school and miss mine because we went to different schools.

She stopped doing it when she started going out with this man (I’m going to call him P) who is basically the definition of good person. My sister and I love him since he has helped a lot with my mom. P lived with us for some time but because some issues they had he and my mom agreed it was better to keep seeing each other but live on different places. Right now they’re going through some problems and, well… basically, my mom is cheating on him.

It’s so weird to be her daughter and know this. Usually parents hide this from their kids even if they are 20 years old but my mom? She confides with us as if we supported her on this. I hate people who cheat on their love ones. Cheating was always part of my family. My grandpa did it to my grandma. My mom did it to my sister’s dad, he probably did it her too, and now she’s doing it again to P.

So yeah, she left. I woke up at 7 am to take my sister to school and she wasn’t home. While my sister was getting ready she called her and then passed the phone to me. She was so drunk she could barely talk. I didn’t know where she was and she didn’t tell me, she just said she was with a friend… a man friend. That day I missed classes, I didn’t feel like going. I couldn’t think of other thing but they way she couldn’t even speak properly. Why did my sister and I have to go through this? I didn’t mind me. I’m grown up, I can take care of myself and I’m used to this but my sister? She just turned 14, what kind of mother did this?

She called me again at 9 am and I told her I didn’t have classes because my professor was absent (Yeah I lied). This time she could speak a little bit better, she sounded sleepy and told me “That’s great, you can sleep a little bit more” Then she said she was going to call P… I wanted to punch the wall because was she really going to call her boyfriend from other men house?

The fact that she said that hit me so hard. This kind of person was my mom, she hurt people and she didn’t care about her daughters. I loved this kind of person and that’s why I couldn’t stand it. I answer ok and hang up. She came home at 2pm, new record. Just in time P came to visit her. The house was a mess and my mom lied to him and said she went to see her lawyers in the morning. I stared at her and then walked back to my room. When P left she came and asked me why did I look at her that way… did I need a reason after what she did? I don’t think so I just told her “because nothing” and she left.

That night my mom went out again but with my aunt, I love my aunt and I trust her so I didn’t really mind. What I did mind was the fact that she acted as if she didn’t do anything wrong but that’s my mom so I let it pass because I was honestly so tired of these situations, I didn’t even have the strengh to be mad at her. My grandparents called and asked me how I was doing. I was feeling depressed. I felt guilty for missing classes, I felt lost because I wanted to just don’t care. At this point I wanted to don’t give a fuck about everything anymore but I did and I hated myself for that.

I told my grandma I was not okay and immediately regret it. She started asking me questions and I didn’t want to tell her sometimes I just felt sad and miserable. I let her continue asking until she stopped knowing I wouldn’t answer. But then my grandpa call and said my grandma told him I was not doing very well and started asking me what was wrong. At some point he asked “Is it your mom?” It was her but also it wasn’t. I was sad because of my mom but also because of me. Just to stop them asking me about me I said yes, “You can’t talk right now, she’s there, right?” I said yes again and he told me we would speak of this later.

So I’m going to talk to them and hopefully they will understand and I’ll come back and tell you what happened.

If you read, thank you so much, it means a lot to me. Lately I feel like I have no one to talk to and I just needed to let this out.