My first baby


This is Mia. She has 4 years old. She’s my first baby, my first real pet, my oldest cat but the smallest since the youngest one is really big and fat (who doesn’t love fat kitties) Mia is my Halloween cat (like I always say because of her colors) She’s also unique, soft, cute, loving and funny.

Two days ago she passed away. We were having dinner after a long day in Disneyworld (I will write about it later) when the girl who was taking care of my two cats back in my country asked me to call her as soon as possible. Because I’m shy and a mess I told my mother to talk to her so while she was speaking with the girl I saw my mom’s expression change into different ones. I started imagining all kind of things like one of my cats running away, or one of them ending up pregnant (okay this was not so bad and I imagined this since there were other cats there too) but then my mom while still listening on the phone looked at me and my sister and whispered “Mia died”

I know it’s stupid to write like this about my cat. And I also know it’s not. What I mean is it’s totally okay to feel the way I feel but I don’t know if it’s  weird or not to get deeply emotional and profound and start writing about it. I’m going keep writing though because if it’s weird then I’m fine with it and if it’s not then good because I was going to keep writing about it.

I never had a pet who died before. Not of my own. My younger sister had hamsters who died and sure it was sad because I’m an animal person I hate to see animals suffer and if I had the strength I would be totally vegetarian or vegan. I try to use cruelty free products, I adopted all of my animals, I cry when animals die in the movies or are left alone, I get mad when there’s someone using a fur coat, I pet all of the dogs I see and I love when cats come near me.

I also was there when my grandma lost her husky dog who I knew since I was a baby and I suffered the lost but never as much as my grandma who loved that dog as if it was her own child. Mia was mine, sure she was my sister’s too and my mom’s and why not my mom’s boyfriend who Mia was very fond of, she used to be on his lap every time he would sit down on the coach.

What I mean is I picked her. We were in my grandpa’s farm and they were always abandoned dogs and kitties who used to be around there. I remember telling my sister “The first animal I see that is not a cow, a chicken or a pig I’m taking it home” As soon as I put my feet on the ground I saw a kitten up in a rock. She was so different and unique that I screamed and grabbed her and after a few phone calls my mom let me have her.

I never would have imagine that with only four years old this little animal would be gone. “Mia died” still sounds in my head reminding me that she’s not longer with us. That I will no longer say I have two cats, that I will no longer grab her or taker her down of the table or that she will no longer be at my feet purring.

I wanted to share how I was feeling since I needed to write it down to understand it. The feeling is so strange. I know is nobody’s fault, she had a heart condition that vets were not able to diagnose, I also know Mia was quite different from other cats, she never grew up much, she was really small and thin even though she ate as much as the other one. However I feel sad and responsible and I don’t know why. Maybe because she was mine and I was supposed to be there. At the same time I’m glad I wasn’t when it happened because that would have been an image that I was not going to be able to take away.

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We actually listen

words and ideas

As you may know… Or not, I have a very strong relationship with my grandparents. This is because technically they raised me so naturally my decisions in life and choices I make are consulted with them, you know the way you would talk to your parents about something I usually talk to my grandparents in that way.

The thing is I grew up. In my grandparents eyes, before my sister came along I was their baby, their little golden girl who used to travel every where with them. I don’t think they ever picture that when I became a young adult I was going to have my own opinion about things and that they were going to differ so much from their line of thinking. This brings a lot of discussions of course. I take it as a normal thing since they’re around 70 and I’m 20. My ideas about feminism, sexism, racism and sexuality differ a lot from their conservative points of view.

I don’t know if this happens around your family but usually when I try to bring my point of view to a topic of discussion in the table I get turned down for being too young and don’t knowing what I’m talking about. My 20’s can’t compete with their experienced 70’s there for I have to sit down and listen and understand that because they “know more” they are right. No one wants to be around people like that you get me?

So I tend to focus my attention on the phone because if I don’t have a word then what’s my point? I know myself, if I hear something I don’t agree with I will want to state my opinion and that’ll create a fight. But what happens when you use your phone in front of older ones? “You’re disrespectful”, “you never listen”, “you are always on your phone”… Etc, etc. If I speak I will say what I think and they won’t like it because in order to say something it has to be something they would like to hear.

This became really normal for me, to be with my phone around them. And because it became a thing they noticed it so “you’re always on your phone and you never listen to me, we never really talk” is a very normal thing to hear. But I do listen to what they say. It’s just that it is really difficult to get into a conversation with someone who no matter what you say they’re going to end up saying you don’t know anything about the subject because you’re too young.

I feel this is something young people have to deal with everyday. In these times where so many changes are happening when people are finally becoming more aware and kids actually listen for them to be denied an ear by the adults because they don’t have experience enough or they don’t know enough instead of encouraging them to keep learning and helping them. Especially when they’re a lot of adults who could actually learn a thing or two from kids and teenagers.

One of the things I hate the most about this subject is that even if it’s a topic I like, my topic, something I love talking about my grandfather (because if I have to be honest when I say adults I’m actually referring to him in my case since he’s the one I have this kind of problem with) will shut me up and say I don’t know what I’m talking about.

One day I would love to tell him I actually hear what he says so he should also listen to me. That respect goes both ways no matter what age you’re. To receive respect you have to give it first, I always believed that. Which doesn’t mean that if a stranger is disrespectful I’m going to be too because I also believe in not paying with the same coin which means not being like the others, being better than that.

This was just something I wanted to talk about since these discussions about “not knowing a thing” and letting him (my grandpa) talk since he’s older and wiser are becoming really usual in vacations.

You can leave your opinion or own experience in the comments if you want, I would really like to read it.

See ya!

Soul mates

There was a sort of poem I found the other day on tumblr that got me thinking about soul mates. I’m going to write it down in case you can’t see it in the picture

What’s a soul mate?

Well it’s like a best friend

but more. It’s the one

person in the world that

knows you better than

anyone else. It’s someone

who makes you a better

person. Actually they don’t

make you a better person

you do that yourself.

Because they inspire you.

A soul mate is someone who

you carry with you

forever. It’s the one

person who knew you and

accepted you and believed

in you before anyone else

did. Or when no one else

would. And no matter

what happens, you will

have them. Nothing

can ever change that.

I couldn’t find who wrote it so if you know let me know so I give them credit.

The reason I started thinking about it was because I was discussing with myself about friendship and about how I would love to have one of those people books and movies describe. The type of friendship that is so strong that you can feel what the other is thinking and you can communicate with just one look. The kind of friendship where you understand how the other one is and you accept it, you protect them and you cherish them. That type of friendship where you would literally die for that person.

The first thing that came to my mind after imagining this friendship was “soul mate”. But soul mate is something we use to refer to lovers. Why can’t I use it for a friend, a sibling, a cousin? Can I love someone romantically and then have a soul mate? (Maybe in the right situation sometimes it can be both).

I always think we tend to romanticizeĀ a lot of things that don’t need romance. I already talked about this here but I have this idea that romantic love is not everything. That family love, friendship love and other kinds are as important as the romantic one.

Anyway this are just some thoughts that came to my mind when I saw that tumblr post. You can comment your opinion I’d be really interested in reading it šŸ™‚

See ya!

Sets from June

Hello WordPress! Long time no read. Right now I’m standing in the land of the free (I’ve been listening to Hamilton a lot lately) Ā because luckily and at the same time maybe not, I’m on vacations. Luckily because I have more time to write and maybe not because I’m on a trip and it might get complicated to get around a computer and write while going to the beach or other places. However I have free time now so I decided yo upload my polyvore sets from June. Hope you guys like them, they’re a lot!

“My deer”

“The travel club”

“America”

This one was inspired in America Chavez from the Young Avengers. A. K. A. one of my favorite marvel characters

“Harry’s swap”

This one was based on Harry Potter, a sort of Harry Potter gender swap.

“And now”

“Our deal”

“Home alone”

“Go your way”

“I was not magnificent”

“Know me well”

“Mystic nature walk”

“Close to the river”

“Nobody asked me”

“Moved away”

“The study of stars”

“Spirits out”

“Night fairygirl” Continue reading “Sets from June”