As you may know… Or not, I have a very strong relationship with my grandparents. This is because technically they raised me so naturally my decisions in life and choices I make are consulted with them, you know the way you would talk to your parents about something I usually talk to my grandparents in that way.
The thing is I grew up. In my grandparents eyes, before my sister came along I was their baby, their little golden girl who used to travel every where with them. I don’t think they ever picture that when I became a young adult I was going to have my own opinion about things and that they were going to differ so much from their line of thinking. This brings a lot of discussions of course. I take it as a normal thing since they’re around 70 and I’m 20. My ideas about feminism, sexism, racism and sexuality differ a lot from their conservative points of view.
I don’t know if this happens around your family but usually when I try to bring my point of view to a topic of discussion in the table I get turned down for being too young and don’t knowing what I’m talking about. My 20’s can’t compete with their experienced 70’s there for I have to sit down and listen and understand that because they “know more” they are right. No one wants to be around people like that you get me?
So I tend to focus my attention on the phone because if I don’t have a word then what’s my point? I know myself, if I hear something I don’t agree with I will want to state my opinion and that’ll create a fight. But what happens when you use your phone in front of older ones? “You’re disrespectful”, “you never listen”, “you are always on your phone”… Etc, etc. If I speak I will say what I think and they won’t like it because in order to say something it has to be something they would like to hear.
This became really normal for me, to be with my phone around them. And because it became a thing they noticed it so “you’re always on your phone and you never listen to me, we never really talk” is a very normal thing to hear. But I do listen to what they say. It’s just that it is really difficult to get into a conversation with someone who no matter what you say they’re going to end up saying you don’t know anything about the subject because you’re too young.
I feel this is something young people have to deal with everyday. In these times where so many changes are happening when people are finally becoming more aware and kids actually listen for them to be denied an ear by the adults because they don’t have experience enough or they don’t know enough instead of encouraging them to keep learning and helping them. Especially when they’re a lot of adults who could actually learn a thing or two from kids and teenagers.
One of the things I hate the most about this subject is that even if it’s a topic I like, my topic, something I love talking about my grandfather (because if I have to be honest when I say adults I’m actually referring to him in my case since he’s the one I have this kind of problem with) will shut me up and say I don’t know what I’m talking about.
One day I would love to tell him I actually hear what he says so he should also listen to me. That respect goes both ways no matter what age you’re. To receive respect you have to give it first, I always believed that. Which doesn’t mean that if a stranger is disrespectful I’m going to be too because I also believe in not paying with the same coin which means not being like the others, being better than that.
This was just something I wanted to talk about since these discussions about “not knowing a thing” and letting him (my grandpa) talk since he’s older and wiser are becoming really usual in vacations.
You can leave your opinion or own experience in the comments if you want, I would really like to read it.