Introvert

“You always see in movies and in books that an introverted character eventually breaks out of their shell because one person changes them and if I’m being honest, I hate that. I hate the idea that something is wrong with introversion. Yes, socializing is good, but not a lot of people understand how physically and emotionally draining it is to be in crowds of people or to be told to “let loose” and “have fun.” As an introvert, my idea of fun is sitting on my couch reading a book, and listening to the rain as it hits the roof. If that’s boring to other people, then that’s fine, but I shouldn’t have to feel bad just because I have a different way of having fun. No one should.

Introversion shouldn’t be scolded, it should be embraced and celebrated and people who are introverts shouldn’t have to feel bad about it. There is no need to try and change something about us we can’t help.” – yatoofthedawn on tumblr

A little something I read a while back on Tumblr and decided to share it because I wish everyone I know would understand this.

 

When you want to do everything but you can’t do nothing

I always considered myself to be a very creative person, or at least someone who wants to carry that trait. That’s why, in some way, I love social media. It allows you to express yourself in any way you want to. I love taking pictures in instagram, creating themes, having fun with the colors I use in my pictures (even if I’m not so good at it). I also love commenting about stuff, I love joking on twitter, upload screen caps or creating gif of some random tv show I’m currently watching, or simply just retweeting someone else creativeness. I use Tumblr since I’m 16 years old, I think it’s an incredible platform for inspiration, as well as Pinterest. I also love YouTube and I have some favorite youtubers myself (I have always thought about creating a channel). Last but not least I love reading and writing in WordPress. Even if I don’t do it often.

But usually in these platforms I take the place of spectator. I like following people who show their work, inspirations or self to the world. It’s something I would like to do without being so worried about what people think, a characteristic social anxiety feature.

Sometimes, I can’t even blame social anxiety because I think it’s something deeper than that. Something in myself and how I can never seem to be able to create things even though I feel inspired and my mind screams about it. It’s never something specific. Just the pure thought of wanting to create something, to do something. I wish I could put a name to the feeling.

When I started university I chose journalism over cinematography because I loved movies but what I loved more about it was to talk about it. I wanted to be able to do something about it and now that I’m studying journalism I think that somehow I have lost that. I love talking about entertainment. I would love to work with something like that and lately every time I get an… let’s call it art attack (lol yeah, like Art Attack from Disney) I found myself wanting to create something related to what I’m studying.

I’ve been thinking about how to approach this idea but honestly, I don’t even know. Because apparently a job doesn’t seem to be an option since I can’t seem to get one. My aunt told me that I should take it by my hands. If I want to do journalism about things I love or interest me I should do it myself. Experiment. She told me I should create a YouTube channel and to be honest the idea always tempted me but I can’t get my head around the idea because I’m really conscious about myself and others. I can’t stand the idea that people from my university or people from high school might see it and laugh about it. I know it’s something stupid. I shouldn’t care what other people think, everybody tells me that but I simply can’t? That’s the way I am. I can’t allow myself to be the way I like because I’m too self-conscious about others and what are they thinking.

Anyway… There’s no point in this post really. I stopped going to therapy a couple of months ago and I just needed to put my feelings down somewhere.

Have you ever felt so self-conscious that it stopped you from doing thing you really wanted to? Let me know in the comments, I’m interested in reading you 🙂

Hope we read each other soon!

 

Don’t forget

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This is a daily reminder to not forget yourself.

Dance around the house a little. Be ridiculous. Blast that guilty pleasure song you hear at night when everyone is dreaming or at morning when everybody is still asleep.

Drink whatever you like in your favorite mug. Drink juice, water, coffee, chocolate milk, even soda.

Watch your favorite show, movie, anime, cartoon. Or read. Read poems, stories, biographies, nonfiction.

Eat whatever you like, today is your day. And if you need to go shopping to get some food, so be it. Buy the most delicious cookies, your favorite snack, your favorite candy.

Change your hair, cut it short or decide to leave it long. Go shopping, dress nicely or stop worrying so much and stay comfortable.

Think about yourself, compliment yourself, read essays, exams, writings that got you a good grade or a compliment in school, university or work.

Don’t feel unloved. Remember love comes in millions of ways and forms.

And remember: You come first, then the world.

Los Angeles feelings

I’m back. Back here and back from vacations. This time, back from California.

Let me tell you a little something, I don’t really remember when was the first time I thought about moving to a specific place but I can clearly remember that moving to United Stated was always a fixated point since I was 17 years old.

I think I had this idealized idea of moving to Los Angeles because I’m a huge Hollywood fan. I love movies, they’re great when you want to get away from the reality of your life. And so I fell in love with the idea of moving to a place where things were different. Now I’m not stupid, I know that it’s not like in the movies, it never is. But after having the chance of going to check it for myself, I can definitely say that my wish of moving there is definitely still there. The fact that Disneyland is close from there increase my interest a lot as well.

So my trip started in Anaheim. If you have been reading this blog you will know that I’m a big Disney fan, like big, big Disney fan. So it was a must for me to go to Disneyland, the original park.

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My experience was really different from what I was expecting but I wouldn’t say it was bad. If there’s something I learned is that if my dreams come true and I get to go a second time, I am definitely not going on a sunday. It was our last day and our second time in the park, me and my sister could only do one game because of how long the lines were. It also didn’t help the fact that by the time I was there a major storm had step upon us. I heard people saying it was one of the biggest California had… my luck.

Despite that I do believe it was a magic experience. Back in Orlando (where I have been going to Disney once a year since like 2012) I never met any character, finding them was impossible but in Disneyland characters seem to appear all the time. I got a lot of pictures with a bunch of them, Aurora from The Sleeping Beauty, Nick and Judy from Zootopia (I was fangirling hard) and more… some of them are in my instagram if you want to check it out.

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Now though I loved Disney in California I have to say you get a better experience when you go to Orlando. To start with you have a lot of choices regarding hotels. I was used to staying in hotels inside the Disney resort, you get more full of the magic spirit Disney gives you but they were so expensive in Anaheim that we had to stay somewhere else. I don’t complain thought, It was a really nice hotel.

After Anaheim we drove all the way to Las Vegas [Elvis Presley’s “Viva Las Vegas” sounds in the background] If I’m being honest, it was never my kind of scenario but I loved it. Of course I did more of the tourist part of it, I was with my grandparents after all (which sounds like i had to behave properly but it was more like me and my sister asking them to behave) The only reason I played once was because I’m 21 and I don’t look like it I wanted to sit and play so someone could ask me for my ID. I don’t know, haha, I just wanted to show someone I was 21. It didn’t work, nobody asked me nothing and I lost 20 dollars.

And after Las Vegas we finally stayed 10 days in Los Angeles. You have no idea how in love I am with that city. Maybe I still have that La La Land kind of feeling around me, I was so dazzled. Generally when I go on vacations I get to a point where when I’m on my last days there I am ready to leave, like I’m fulfilled or something but here I didn’t want to leave at all. I wanted to stay and do all the things we did all over again.

And it wasn’t as if everything that happened in our trip was beautiful. We did get the chance to go to a lot of places but we have a lot of family arguments not only between each other but with my mother who was back home. But that’s for another post/story. What I’m trying to say here is I loved my trip to Los Angeles.

I have a lot of pictures but I don’t really want to bore you. Instead if you’re a Harry Potter fan then that’s good because I’m going to end this post with some pictures I took of the Warner Bros. Studio Tour.

(Starting with the La La Land café where Mia worked and Warner recreated)

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My sister had to refresh my memory cause I honestly didn’t remember seeing this in La La Land. Also, now that I’m talking about the movie how do you feel about the whole Oscar’s mistake. Iconic. I’m so happy for Moonlight but at the same time I would have love for them to receive a proper recognition. (My sister thinks it was rigged and honestly it’s kind of suspicious)

Also this!

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RIP

I loooooooved Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them but you know what I loved even more? The aesthetic. A very much deserved oscar for best achievement in production design.

 

Hope we read each other soon!

 

From Brazil with love

So I’m trying a thing where instead of thinking what am I going to write about I just sit and open WordPress in hopes that inspiration will come along the way. Right now this thing is working. Obviously being in an almost paradisiacal place with the beautiful coast of Rio de Janeiro as the view and the people like tiny ants in the beaches of Leblon, Ipanema and Copacabana is helping a lot.

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I love Brazil, the always beautiful hotel I stay in, the beach, Jesus Christ (Cristo Redentor) up in the mountain looking down at the city and probably being mad at me because in these 17 years I have been coming to Rio I never in my life went to see him up close… and yeah probably also mad because I became an atheist and “betrayed” my family and I’m carrying Satan’s blood or something like that said my grandpa’s cousin once.

While I’m here and while I’m writing all this down I’m thinking that maybe I just need to be a little more natural. Not everything has to be long and carry powerful meanings, I’m obviously exaggerating here because I don’t believe any of my posts ever carried a powerful meaning… maybe the harry potter vs the movies, the message in that one was clear, THEY SCREWED UP EVERYTHING.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say while also telling you that I’m vacationing in Brazil is that I’m going to try to be more active. I can promise to try but I won’t promise it will work 🙂

Hope we read each other soon!

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PS: Hopefully I might be able to take better pictures and show you more.

remember when?

Remember that post where I told you guys about me being gone because of my finals, yeah well my finals ended like a month ago. Not really but sort of.

I’m starting to think I’m not that good at keeping up a blog, haha. The truth is I don’t know what to tell you about. I feel a million things I want to share, I see and read and experience things that I want to post for you and me yet somehow I can’t get myself to write them down…

I don’t want to exaggerate, my life is still pretty basic and normal. The only thing that changes are the new lives I live in books and the music I listen (I still listen to mostly hamilton) and the movies I enjoy. I do have different feelings that I feel like sharing but at the same time it confuses me because I feel like I’m mixing everything into this blog and at the end of the day no one knows what this is about, not even me.

I’m still going to write though, I just need more time to put my feelings together and analyse what’s going on in my life before pour it all down. And most important I need to remember that though readers are more than welcome I’m doing this for me.

hope we read each other soon.

 

Time to decorate

Christmas is coming and if there is something more exciting than Halloween for me it’s definitely christmas. I sometimes feel bad because I’m not even catholic (my family is though) but I think we can safely say that although christmas is indeed the birth of Jesus Christ, it’s also about getting together with your loved ones. For me is about the feeling. Knowing that you have to prepare for a big meal with your family, buying gifts for them. The process of it is just lovely to me. The decorations and putting your christmas tree. Somehow, even though it’s the end of the year and the finals usually kill me I seem to be more happy, or at least I try to be more happy. Christmas movies! We can hear to christmas songs! Which I don’t know why but they’re amazing and there are so many and in lots of versions with different styles and  voices.

Anyway, I was planning to do a DIY of some decorations I’ve been doing. Since I moved out to my own apartment I have to control myself for transforming my house into Santa’s village. I like going big on decorations. But the thing is, this DIY’s were really not something I made up but something I copied from pinterest. So instead I’m just going to show you two of  them which are really easy to do!

Paper stars!

The first one it’s kind of silly and simple. I just needed

  • red paper
  • green paper
  • brown paper
  • twine
  • scissors
  • glue gun (which is totally up to you because there are other ways of pasting the stars to the twine)

So what I did here is print a star that I found on google because I really don’t know how to make a star.

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After cutting them, something like this was the result.

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I then pasted the stars to the twine…

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and tada! Simple, easy and cute.

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The second one required a little bit more of effort, meaning, while walking the dog I collected some twigs, so…

Rustic stars!

  • twigs
  • twine
  • glue gun
  • some paint if you feel like painting the stars.

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You first make the form to see how are you going to glue it

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glue gun power and…

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ready!

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Pretty simple DIY that I took from pinterest. I like rustic and Scandinavian decorations so I love searching those tags.

See ya!