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Hello WordPress! Today I wanted to write about something that I hope people with social anxiety or anxiety can relate.
You might know the expression “Live your life to the fullest” or not but it’s really easy to recognise what it means and find other similar quotes.
Live your life to the fullest, you only live once, take a chance. People usually say this when they’re about to do something out of the ordinary or really crazy. I used to say it to myself a lot when I was young, I was going to live life like there was no tomorrow, I was going to take every chance I get to have fun and be adventurous.
Turns out is not really like that… at least not for me. There are people who can do it. One day they show up with a different hair color, they just go backpacking, they go out and have the most crazy nights, they live freely. I really envy those people because it makes me realize that even if I had every chance to do it, I wouldn’t.
It often happened to me that I had the chance of having a good time with friends and decided to step back because it was too much for me. So much nervousness, fear, anxiety… When people would say “come on, go out with us tonight” or “let’s go dancing”, “if you don’t do it you’re going to regret it”, “if you don’t do it now, you’re not going to be able to do it again.” all this phrases pressuring me to do something I knew I couldn’t. And some of them are not even crazy. With just “Let’s go dancing” I would start shaking my head telling them I didn’t feel like going out that night (or any other night ever)
I’m just not capable of doing stuff like that with normality. Some of us over think everything, every little action, movement, stare. I can’t just relax and take it easy. Maybe you know this. I know this, I live with it. But what I’m just recently trying to understand is that it’s okay. It’s totally fine.
So of course, you start to get to know your anxiety and what to do or not to do, when to push yourself and when not to. You start playing it safe which I think it’s super okay. But maybe you need a little help to get out of your bubble, you know? Watching everyone around you might make you want to try, even if you don’t know how to or you feel like you’re surely going to fail. So who better than friends who understand your anxiety and can help you through it?
This brings me to a conclusion. In my experience I often felt misunderstood because when I would say I didn’t want to go dancing or I didn’t want to go out, my friends would get mad at me thinking that I was doing this because I was lazy or because I didn’t want to see them. I can’t really blame them or be mad because I don’t think they would understand it either. They would see no logic to my problem, I think only people who go through the same are able to fully understand you.
The only way for them to support you and for you to take a chance would be if they knew what you’re going through and you would have that type of moral support and that security that if you don’t do what others do people won’t get mad at you or tell you that you waste your time or even life.
It always makes me wonder what it would be like to tell my friends about my anxiety issues. They obviously know about the panic attacks because I have had them around them but I would want them to know that is deeper than that. That it’s not about them, it’s about me and my inability to do things others can naturally do.
If something similar happens to you I would recommend to speak up about it with your close friends. Make sure they know your limitations, when to push and when to not.
Rambling finished for today, I’ll leave you with some relatable buzzfeed joke 🙂